How can a man have so many emotional thoughts?

Will not typeset, nor write out to you ridicule, you see the official, in fact, mainly want to find a place to vent emotions, by the way, do not want to let the people who care about people see the mind! So the title is seriously inconsistent with the content! Infiltration!! Today is a tired day, the children's school rehearsed the performance in the morning, the parent-child sports meeting in the afternoon, ready to go to bed at 9 o 'clock, I can't sleep over and over, my brain is not under my control, I got up to write something. Do not know how to say, in fact, itself is a man who is not good at words, can not say so, in fact, there are a lot of words to say, but every time these emotional words, to the mouth but no way to open, Z after the end. Today, my son's school performance in the morning, the parent-child sports meeting in the afternoon, when I participated in the feeling of a lot, how to say, looking at my son, I think of myself as a child, and took out my primary school photos with my son is really the same. But the character is not the same, my mother said I was not naughty when I was a child but can not stay, annoying, in today's words is active, a little dog!! Ha ha, but my son is the opposite of me, sitting, people see people love, especially good to take, to say a topic, my son is 8 years old, born until now has not eaten sugar, did not drink drinks, did not drink ice water, did not eat popsicles, not the family does not let him eat, I belong to the kind of special dog father, I secretly buy him to eat, he does not want, you force him, he does not live or die! I always thought he was a little monster, hahaha. Back to myself, my parents are both teachers, and I can see them in all the schools before I graduated from high school. Except for the six years in primary school, my mother did not take my classes, and my father took my classes all the time until middle school and high school. So I do not know how to participate in the activities of my son's school, always remember the original! I don't know when to start. As long as I lie down before going to bed, I can't help thinking about when my parents will leave me, how will I be when I leave me, whether I will be sad to death, and what kind of life will be without them. Thinking about it, I feel a kind of emptiness in my heart position. It's like falling into an abyss and falling down but never getting to the bottom. I also tried to let myself not to think about these ghost problems, but the brain is out of control, can not escape can not escape, like into a dead end, first of all, I love life, do not want to commit suicide, do not want to die, I very understand their own mental situation, three normal, so it is not a neurological problem, nor depression. But this kind of thing is OK, did not affect my normal rest, Z half an hour I still fell asleep. But that half-hour experience really felt like a loss of everything !!!! Maybe an adult man shouldn't be like this, every day for work and family, where do you have time to think about such emotional issues. But I think about it, and sometimes I even elevate it. In fact, I will enlighten myself, will reflect. But this kind of problem is like a dead knot, because I know that my parents, me, anyone will leave one day. I can't stop myself from thinking about this kind of thing. It's like a heart attack. I was tired, I was annoyed, I knew the reason, I knew the answer, but I couldn't help myself. In fact, I know myself from the bottom of my heart, I am not so afraid of death, but I cannot say that I am not afraid, because I know that fear is no different from fear, I will always have one day, but I am afraid of losing, because they are an integral part of my life. I don't know how to deal with losing them. When you are young, you may think that you can have a clear conscience, but is that really the case? The older you get, the more you know the weight of these four words. I will always be sorry for my parents, even my life is given by them, how to achieve a clear conscience? Sometimes I really hate to live in this world, just like some people say that living is suffering, maybe this world is hell, give you everything, Z will eventually strip away all this, I will think, people in the end have reincarnation, reincarnation, through? What was I like before I was born? But I can't give myself the answer, I can't think of the picture. If there is, for now I actually seem not so important, because I do not know even if I reincarnate, reincarnation, through, I do not want to lose all that is still in my side. So you see, I really have a healthy heart, but I think about some mental problems, I ask questions, and then give myself answers, obviously 100 points, but I still keep asking questions, keep thinking. In fact, I know myself, I am afraid of losing, very afraid. In fact, writing these just want to remind myself, love life, love myself, love all the good things around me, cherish the people in front of me, I know I will still think about these problems, in fact, it is inevitable, because I will face it eventually, I may just want to be prepared in advance. Do less to worry your family and be more considerate of those who love you and those you love. Originally, I wanted to see everyone's comfort to ease the mood, and wrote that the mood would calm down slowly. I love the family, my mind has a lot of very much about their dribs and DRBS want to write out, but later found that the love of parents is mostly the same, everyone has those good memories. I won't write it. I'll always remember it. I love you, Mom and dad, although I don't remember how long it's been since I said so, and I don't remember how long it's been since I signed your hand, but I love you! Why only to see the love of parents, sons, is not to see any trace of the wife of the natural law of death, calmly face, I am convinced that it is not the end, but a change. Take good care of your parents and do things you can control instead of worrying about the unknown, because there's nothing we can do about life or death. I do not know if the owner has been to the funeral home, and so have been to this feeling will be more intense. I have been there to send the old man at home, with the people into the stove after the small iron door closed, maybe their heart will be like tearing pain. Parents are gone, people live without roots, may not be able to let go until death.